Archive for December, 2008

2010 Pro Bowl precedes Super Bowl

By
Zuri
Published: December 30, 2008Tags: ,

In an effort to make a meaningless, lifeless game into something entertaining and popular, the NFL has decided that next season’s Pro Bowl will be played on the empty weekend before the Super Bowl. It’s not going to work.

First, they’re automatically eliminating any players from the two best teams. Second, they’ve changed nothing but the date on the calendar.

The problem with the game is that nobody, including the players, cares about it, not that it comes after the season. Want to get me interested? There are only a couple ways to do this – pay me to watch, or have some sort of chalupa giveaway incentive. Now, money doesn’t seem to motivate players enough, and I assume they have a personal chef making their chalupas, so how about a little suspension immunity for players on the winning team? Unlicensed gun go off in a night club? Better win the Pro Bowl this year!

In other words, I don’t plan on watching the Pro Bowl to fill the void between the championship games and the Super Bowl.

Dear Santa: Get me a winner!!

By
Zuri
Published: December 24, 2008Tags: , , , , , ,


All I want for Christmas is a winner.

Kings, Warriors, 49ers, Raiders, Giants and A’s, take notes.

You too, Sharks. You’re not out of the woods yet.

When you step out, do so with the intention of winning. Nothing else. And when you plan for the future of your franchise, plan with the intent of winning. Nothing else.

If I hear about this false pretense of “rebuilding” one more time, I swear to the Lord almighty I will throw my television out the window and lead the rest of my days as a recluse in the Sierra foothills.

Why? Because I’d rather be ignorant of Northern California’s collective incompetence than spare another second of my time on Earth being complicit in this buffoonery. It’s either second place or the worst of the worst. And if history is any precursor, those that plan to rebuild are planning to fail. Just picture being a lifelong Cincinnati Bengals fan. Or how about an L.A. Clippers fan?

That’s hurt.

And honestly, that’s too much hurt for any one fan to handle. So instead of starting my own self-help group and letting my fantasy leaguemates get angry at me because I’m ignoring my duties as commissioner, I’m going for the Hail Mary.

Santa, you’re a few years overdue and I suggest you pay what you owe.

Is it too much to ask that when one of our area teams takes to the playing field (listen up 49ers), that they attempt to win every game? I can’t for the life of me remember a year in which there was more disappointment after acquiring so much talent to bolster team play. It’s just god awful. I want people who want to be better than before and have the talent to do it. Then, back it up with a .500-plus season.

Saint Nick, you hearing me? Singletary?

I want, for once in my young life, to have a team proclaim that off years are no excuses for poor team play and spending less money on available talent.

You got that Maloofs?

I want the guy on my team that says “put it on my back, and I’ll carry us.” Tim Lincecum, are you the man for the job?

I long for a general manager that has a better selling season than book. (Yo Billy, stop acting like Mr. Bean and take care of business.)

I need a new owner and a new coach in Oakland — for the Raiders and the Warriors.
And I need the Sharks to not tank on the cusp of a Stanley Cup. Just when I was getting into watching hockey, it went south. That’s unacceptable. Kind of like when I just got into watching golf, and then Tiger takes the rest of the year off. It’s killing my mojo.

Santa, if for once you can do what you’re supposed to do — bring joy to those that are good — then take heed here. I’ve paid for my fair share of tickets and memorabilia. And I’ve written about some of these teams way too much. Help a fan out that’s two steps away from his tube.

It’s sad that it has come to this, but I knew — for some reason or another — we were at this point. Maybe it was the collective surprise that both the 49ers and Raiders won on the same weekend. Or maybe, it was on Saturday, when the Grant Pacers football team did more for Northern California than the collective Bay Area teams have done in three years by beating Long Beach Poly for the state championship.

Those kids, their parents and the Sacramento region are swelling with pride right now.

I’m so jealous.

You can find this column and more on TheUnion.com.

Week 17 Rooting Interests

By
Zuri
Published: December 22, 2008Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Dallas Cowboys - First and foremost, let’s get America’s Team and God’s Team, which by no coincidence happen to be the same team, into the playoffs. If Arizona can make it, and either San Diego or Denver can make it, I feel like the Cowboys deserve to make it. And I deserve it. I’ve been good this year. If they don’t beat the Eagles, at least they’ll have ripped my heart out early this year and I can enjoy the playoffs.

Detroit Lions - To lose. It’s more accurate to say I’m rooting for the Lions to lose than I am for the Packers to win. I want to see the first 0-16 team; I couldn’t care less how many wins the Packers finish with. After Detroit completes the worst possible season, I’d like them to be in the playoffs next year, cause man that sucks. I’d also like to demand a trade for Calvin Johnson. If he’s not going to say it, I will. He might have been my most reliable fantasy player, and I can only wonder what he might’ve done on a real team.

San Diego Chargers - I hate the idea of an 8-8 team winning their division and going to the playoffs. The winner of the AFC West should be irrelevant to the playoffs. But since somebody has to “win” it, I’m going with the Chargers. They’re more talented and could do more damage in the postseason, and they’ve had a few unlucky breaks along the way coughEdHochulicough. Denver, meanwhile, started 3-0 and should’ve clinched the division midway through the season. There’s no way it should’ve come down to a week 17 winner-take-all. Screw em. They don’t deserve it.

Miami Dolphins - Again, any team that wants to give their playoff ticket away as badly as the Jets do, I want to let them. Seeing Chad Pennington keep Brett Favre and the Jets out of the playoffs while leading his team in will just be icing on the cake.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers - I just think it’s funny every time a coach that Al Davis fires (or trades I guess) comes back to beat him and the Raiders. I’m praying they let Tom Cable go and he wins the Super Bowl with the Lions next year.

Minnesota Vikings – I just hate the Giants. God I hate them so much.

49ers got a coach, now they need a QB

By
Zuri
Published: December 16, 2008Tags: , , , , , , ,


From a column I wrote last week:

You’re just going to have to get used to Mike Singletary barking at you on that TV screen because he’s not going anywhere, anytime soon.

After the 49ers dropped the New York Jets, one week after downing the Buffalo Bills, there’s a distinct flavor of football being formed in the San Francisco Peninsula. It’s an unmistakable change from the random week-to-week strategy that was offensive oriented, unorganized and worse yet, a losing culture.

Now, with Singletary playing captain, Shaun Hill starring as first mate and Vernon Davis being a good sailor, there’s a lot of positives to take from a tragic 2008 season.

Like pheromones, the Yorks will unknowingly, or rather ignorantly, enjoy the plunders of these non-essential, late-season wins. They’ll look at the few wins they pick up and see justification for sacking Mike Nolan, justification for benching J.T. O’Sullivan, and justification for not going after another quarterback last offseason, and probably this upcoming one.

Singletary deserves the credit for bringing discipline. He’s a pretty stern dude who has reinvigorated a defense that was not playing up to par. Holding Buffalo to three points showed that and holding the Jets (who had just beat the previously undefeated Tennessee Titans) to 14 proved that. It’s very satisfying to see the defense play so well when they’re supposed to, all the while understanding that you can’t expect that performance every week.

To read the full column, go to TheUnion.com.

UPDATED: So the 49ers took a loss to the Dolphins this last weekend and I couldn’t help but stew about that. It wasn’t like there was something magnificent about what the Dolphins did, it was more about how magnificently anemic the 49ers offense was. They just couldn’t get the plays when they needed ‘em. I don’t think all of the blame should be on the quarterback in this scenario. There’s a lot of fault laying around that offensive line and the lack of running plays called.

The question is, if the 49ers are going to lose to the Dolphins, when they can clearly win the game, will they lose to the Bengals if they played today? I mean, this is the low of the low. Can they even beat the Raiders.

College football playoff gets an Act of Congress

By
Zuri
Published: December 10, 2008Tags: ,


Anyone that said it would take an Act of Congress to get a college football playoff system is probably right. And surprisingly, it looks like that’s what’s going to happen. Republican Joe Barton of Texas (who I assume is an upset Longhorns fan) is introducing legislation that would require college football to have a playoff before declaring anyone a “national champion.” It seems to be a case of semantics – Florida or Oklahoma can’t be called a national champion without earning it on the field.

“[The bill] will prohibit the marketing, promotion, and advertising of a postseason game as a ‘national championship’ football game, unless it is the result of a playoff system,” Barton said. “Violations of the prohibition will be treated as violations of the Federal Trade Commission Act as an unfair or deceptive act or practice.”

Interesting angle, congressman, and it just might work. The public has been misled when after every postseason game has been played, there is still controversy and discussion over who the real national champion is. If this legislation passes, I’m guessing that the people running (and making money off of) the BCS would rather find a way around the “deceptive” wording, but there is a chance this leads to a playoff. Once again, I am hopeful, but not holding my breath.

“This year, we again have two teams with one loss each playing for the ‘championship,’ while two undefeated teams and four additional teams with only one loss will play in bowl games, but none can become ‘champion,” he said. “The BCS method of determining who is No. 1 consistently misfires. Simply exposing the flaws and subjecting them to discussion … hasn’t led to improvement by those who run the system.”

I don’t know when or why the government decided to get so involved in sports, but I like it.

Commissioner Goodell talks Plaxico

By
Zuri
Published: December 9, 2008Tags: ,


NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell came off as a real common sense guy when he addressed the Plaxico Burress situation. The Giants receiver shot himself in the thigh when he brought a loaded gun into a night club. Those playing devil’s advocate have said that players don’t feel as safe anymore, especially after Sean Taylor’s death a year ago.

“The real issue to me, is when the players feel they’re unsafe, they shouldn’t be there,” Goodell said. “So get out, don’t be there. If you feel the need to have a firearm to be someplace, you’re in the wrong place.”

Makes sense to me. He left out the part about sweatpants not being the most reliable gun holsters. Burress had a license for the gun, but not in New York, which is the reason for his legal problems. Then he has to worry about a possible punishment by Goodell, who’s been trying to clean up the league’s behavior problem since taking over for Paul Tagliabue in 2006.

“I think they understand they have a certain code of conduct for players, coaches, commissioner, everyone involved with the game,” he said. “I do think it’s getting through, but you always are going to have people who make mistakes.”