Archive for May, 2009

Entering the era of Machida

By
Tim
Published: May 24, 2009Tags: , ,

Joe Rogan said it best: “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Machida era. We have just entered a new era in the light heavyweight division.”

Lyoto Machida is a ninja. If he vanished and reappeared on the other side of the cage, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised. Machida became the new light heavyweight champ in the UFC Saturday night with a knockout over previously unbeaten Rashad Evans. He’s now 15-0, as well as unmarked, unscarred, unbruised, undamaged and un-a lot of other things. I’ve never seen opponents swing and miss on so many punches and kicks.

What’s even more impressive is that I think Evans did better than anyone else I’ve seen Machida fight. He landed a couple punches after a flurry by Machida, and a couple kicks to the body and leg. He was rocked in the first round, but recovered. He was rocked by several shots in the second and even seemed to talk trash in the process before finally going to sleep. He even did a good job of getting Machida to come to him early in round one.

But there’s still no fighter that has figured out how to attack the karate black belt. He’s patient, avoids all strikes, and doesn’t need many of his own to inflict damage. Evans never came close. As big a Machida fan as I’ve become, and as much as I want to see him hold the title for years, I’m also extremely curious to see what that successful game plan looks like. I can’t imagine.

Doubly upset about the NBA draft lottery

By
Zuri
Published: May 20, 2009Tags: , , ,

I often think that maybe if I started going to church again, God might finally give my sports teams some good luck. Cause He sure seems to hate them now. He’d probably see right through my plan though, and maybe strike Kevin Martin with lightning. I can’t have that on my conscience. Better not chance it.

The Good Lord took another cheap shot at me during the NBA draft lottery, when he gave my Sacramento Kings the fourth pick in the draft. Under the current system, that’s the absolute lowest they could’ve fallen. Well played old man.

So no Blake Griffin for us. Likely no Ricky Rubio. Stephen Curry? He’s not the best player in the draft, or the true point guard that we need, but I like the kid and I don’t know who else is available and good. I was ready for Griffin, but now I need to do my research.

Pouring salt in the wound, the NBA gave the first overall pick to the Los Angeles Clippers. Fake an injury, Blake. Make it look serious. Believe me, you want to find a way to drop to at least number two. I don’t care how many interviews he does where he claims to want to be a Clipper, I’m not buying it. He’s gotta be pissed.

How many times is the NBA going to allow the Clippers to pick first and ruin a young star’s career? They shouldn’t be allowed in the top 10. They shouldn’t be allowed in the league, really. Who’s done less team building in the draft?

Here are their picks in the top 10 going backward from 2004: Shaun Livingston at No. 4, Chris Kaman at No. 6, Chris Wilcox at No. 8, Tyson Chandler at No. 2, Darius Miles at No. 3, Lamar Odom at No. 4, Michael Olowokandi at No. 1, Lorenzen Wright at No. 7, Antonio McDyess at No. 2, Lamond Murray at No. 7, Bo Kimble at No. 8, Danny Ferry at No. 2 and Danny Manning at No. 1. You have to go back to 1988 to find a value pick. Any others that have had success in the league have done it on other teams.

It would seem hard for them to screw up the Griffin pick, but you’ve got to have faith. They’re the one team God hates more than mine.

Irvin motivates 12 Cowboy hopefuls

By
Tim
Published: May 19, 2009Tags: ,

Michael Irvin reminded me why he’s my favorite athlete of all time during the series premiere of “4th and Long” on Spike last night. Nobody is more intense, nobody loves the Cowboys more, and nobody would be a better motivator for the 12 players hoping to make the Dallas roster.

“I’m seeing guys kneeling down when you’ve got an opportunity of a lifetime here,” he yelled at the players following a tough gunner drill. “I don’t wanna hear s@#% about you being tired. That means nothing. With what’s at stake for you guys, you should be begging to go again (cue intense music). Because you’ve got to have the desire to override your fatigue. You tell your body, ‘I’m not listening. I’ve got too much at stake to listen. Every time I’m given an opportunity to go, I’m going. Body, shutup! And mind, let’s work.’”

Following the drill, there were a couple players that puked. That’s when Irvin asked coaches Joe Avezzano and Bill Bates to have them run 110s – across the 110-yard field in 17 seconds or less. When they had reached 1,760 yards, Montrell Jones had to take a break to throw up.

“Let’s go. Throw it up and get the sickness out of you so you can get your ass back on the field and we can finish practice,” Irvin said.

They finished running at 1,980 yards. Then he wanted to see what their 40 time was. That would tell him how fast they’d be and what they could give the Cowboys in the fourth quarter. Jones recovered and finished the drill, although he did make the mistake of bending over in exhaustion.

“If I’m playing against you and I see you leaning on your knees, it gives me confidence that I’m gonna beat your ass. Stay up.”

Defensive back Stephen Andrews was the first cut made after he was run over and through in the gunner drills, while my blind winner pick Steve “Speedy” Gonzalez just missed the cut even though he couldn’t run the 40 because of a calf cramp. I’ll stick with him, but there were a couple others that caught my eye on the first episode, including Jones.

Optimistic Tim thinks that at best the show will produce some depth at whichever position the player that wins the show is at, and a good special teams player. I’m positive that Irvin is the best person to host the show. He loves the team too much to send a player to Dallas that’s not worthy.

Shocking T.O. news

By
Tim
Published: May 18, 2009Tags:

“Wearing his familiar No. 81, Owens took part in stretching drills. He then played catch on the sidelines with receiver James Hardy while the special teams worked out,” reports the Associated Press.

The news item essentially just said that he showed up and got attention because of who he was. No word as to what he ate for breakfast, what his favorite color is, or if he buckles his seatbelt before or after starting the car. Probably because he’s a bad teammate.

4th and Long, Punt Team!

By
Tim
Published: May 14, 2009Tags:

OK Zuri, minor league football is pretty sweet, I’ll grant you that. But, say you want to fill the void until football season, but you’re unwilling to get off the recliner to do so (and I don’t blame you). Now what? Huh? Michael Irvin has the answer, as always. “4th and Long” starts Monday night at 7 p.m. on SPIKE!

Hey, if “The Ultimate Fighter” can work, so can this. Right? Or maybe I’m excited because it can only benefit my team. These guys are playing for a contract, but I’m watching for the love of the game, and because they apparently didn’t like my resume.

Judging from these bios from The Dallas Morning News, there’s a lot to be excited about. For example, seven of the 12 players (all receivers and corners) have bad-ass nicknames. If they thought a cool nickname was going to separate them from the pack, it did the exact opposite.

DEFENSIVE BACKS WITH NICKNAMES: There’s Eddie “Emo” Moten dammit we’re off to a bad start. I’m sure he had that nickname before the music evolved from body and mind numbing depression meds, but it’s still ruined.

Stephen “White Lightning” Andrews sounds pretty fast. But he also sounds un-athletic, and that worries me. He’s got a 4.35 40-time on the bright side, but tried out for a CFL team and didn’t make it. Hopefully the British Columbia Lions were stacked with DBs at the time.

Ahmaad “Silent Assassin” Smith has played some semi-pro ball (Did you go to high school with him, Zuri?) for the Mississippi Mudcats. He sounds dangerous.

At 6′0″ and only 164 lbs., Moses “Mowash” Washington better learn the art of the ankle tackle … and the art of coming up with nicknames.

DEFENSIVE BACKS WITHOUT: This group certainly has more to prove. First we’ve got Erick Johnson, who was part of the Texas Longhorns’ national championship team.

Donte Gamble really needs no nickname, and played semi-pro ball in the Patti LaBelle Football League. Seriously. I’m not lying. Although maybe the Morning News is lying ……. nope, google search confirms. He’s 30 years old, so even if he makes it he’ll be retired in three years. Screw this guy.

WIDE RECEIVERS WITH NICKNAMES: Steve “Speedy” Gonzalez (4.5 40-time) returned six straight kickoffs for touchdowns in the arena league. Seriously, that’s pretty impressive. It’s impossible to score in that league. I like this guy so far, and because he didn’t go to college there’s a logical explanation for why NFL teams didn’t pick the guy up. I don’t see his cousin “Slowpoke” Rodriguez on the list.

The youngest guy on the list is 22-year-old Andrew “Matchbox” Hawkins. Energy player? Pyro? This guy could be dangerous on the field or off, I’m not sure. He’s only 5′7″ and 175 lbs. but he played both ways at Toledo and ran a 4.34.

Jesse “Hollywood” Holley is 6′3″ and played basketball at North Carolina too. That’s promising. His nickname is used by 463 other NFL players though, and three people at my work.

WIDE RECEIVERS WITHOUT: Montrell Jones played in the CFL (good) but has his age listed as not available (bad?).

Preston McGann sounds rich, which makes me question how motivated he’ll be. You need the carrot in front of the donkey, not in its mouth. He could be a good athlete though. He’s listed at 6′3″ 203 lbs. and only played baseball in college.

If Luke Swan is related to Lynn Swann, I’m betting on this guy. He’s been cut by the Kansas City Chiefs twice, which tells me he’s close, but also that he may have already proven he can’t cut it.

Well there’s your list. If I was a betting man (and I would be if I had the money), I’d go with “Speedy” for the reasons listed above. Who do you got? Put it on record.

For the love of the game

By
Zuri
Published: May 13, 2009Tags: ,

There is an afterlife.

I swear to you, I’ve seen it.

It’s only visible on weekends, but it’s alive and kicking. Drive down Interstate 80 and you can catch a glimpse for yourself as former football stars are hitting, tackling and generally skipping around football fields as giddy as can be.

Finding the football afterlife was by happenstance. As I sat at home, preparing for another weekend of debauchery, I ventured online to visit the staggering social networking site MySpace. I came across the profile of an old friend and high school teammate whose page was littered with photos and videos of him playing football. But it wasn’t the getup of purple and gold from my alma mater Galileo in San Francisco, or that of any junior college or college for that matter. It was the uniform of the Bay Area Buccaneers, a Northern California Football League minor league football team.

Football for those who still have game left in their tanks.

Intrigued, I probed further. The Buccaneers were scheduled to play the next morning as I planned to be in San Francisco, facing the South Bay Stallions at Menlo-Atherton high school in Atherton. At 6-2, the Bucs were the favorites.

I couldn’t help but wonder why my friend was still playing ball, what was the reasoning behind it and where the hell this league came from? I dug deeper.

A quick scan of the roster, I noticed it was littered with names of guys who were my teammates in high school. Nine to be exact. Then, there were the guys we played against on the very same team. To be precise, there were a lot of fellas from the Fillmore neighborhood I grew up in. All-City athletes, MVPs and more. I felt like I was in bizarro land when one name came up: Hudari Murray. Murray was my high school coach and he was listed as the offensive coordinator.

Twilight Zone was in full effect.

That’s it. That’s all it took. I had to go see this game. I high-tailed it down to the Bay Area, made a couple of phone calls and found my way to Menlo-Atherton.

Before I knew it, I was having a flashback. There was coach Murray, yelling at so-and-so over playing time. Former all-city running back Charles Linsday, the owner of the team, ran up, down and sideways against the Stallions as he did the rest of the AAA nine years ago for the now defunct McAteer High School. Dion Pickett, the 2000 AAA player of the year for Galileo, showed off his gun at quarterback.

Same characters, just aged a tad — most in their mid to late 20s.

The NCFL was formed out of a couple of smaller football leagues this last year to balance out the number of strong and weak teams on the landscape. Although its precise purpose is to be a vehicle for former players who feel they still have mileage left.

One of my former teammates, Randy Munmon, is the president of the Buccaneers and one of the team’s starting cornerbacks. As he sees it, there are three levels of involvement: Guys just out of high school who didn’t get the offers they wanted, those who have played at the junior college and college level and are still looking for attention by either of the Arena Football Leagues, and those who are strictly playing for love of the game.

“Guys like me and older guys, that’s just has-beens, rather not stay at home,” said Munmon, who works as a property manager in Hayward during the week. “With the stress on the job, it helps me get through the week. I don’t plan on doing anything with this.”

Players have to shell out quite a bit of coin too. Jerseys and equipment are on the players’ own dime. As one person put it to me, while the league tries to build itself up, nobody is getting paid. And the Bucs, among other teams, represent themselves as a not-for-profit enterprise. So, it really is all about the love of the game.

There are teams in Sacramento, West Sacramento, Woodland, Lodi, Solano, Marin, Oakland and San Jose. And while the league has been under the radar to most of the media, they’ve enjoyed a steady following of friends and family at their games.

If this doesn’t represent a love for the game, dedication to a sport you love and the friends you love, I don’t know what is. But it also presents a gentle dilemma for the former athlete fearing a quarter-life crisis: Continue to drift away from everything you’ve known as a a junior midget, midget, on junior varsity, varsity and in college or keep pounding away on the gridiron till you’re dead tired of the drills, the yelling, the tape on your ankles and the lint lining of your pockets after your funds are drained.

With 16 teams in the league, not to mention an abundance of alumni games across California including here in the foothills, there’s not a lack of want for something like this. Nor a lack of love.

The football’s not too bad either.

Editor’s note: This column originally appeared in The Union.

Al Davis hates black people … from Notre Dame

By
Tim
Published: May 13, 2009Tags:

I’m not even sure what to make of this latest Al Davis story. Tim Brown, the former Raiders receiver, told WCNN radio in Atlanta that Davis is a very specific type of racist.

“Meeting Al was pretty unique. I found out five or ten minutes after my first practice there that he hated African-American athletes from Notre Dame. And they literally told me that. They literally told me that because we’re known for using our education more than our athletic ability that he thought that I would be one of these guys that would basically take the money and run. I don’t know if that was a ploy to get me amped up, but it certainly worked.”

Hmmm. Strange comment. So, is that racist? The guy sure employs a lot of African-American athletes, not necessarily from Notre Dame though. Was it a ploy to motivate Brown? It seems like a crazy viewpoint no matter which way you look at it.

Begging for a Favre comeback

By
Tim
Published: May 6, 2009Tags:

Come on, Brett. You know you miss it. You know you need it. You don’t want to spend the fall on your couch when you could be throwing touchdowns, high-fiving teammates, running around like a kid on the football field and sticking it to the Packers for getting rid of you last year. Retirement? That’s just a word. Nobody thinks you meant it. Hey, hang on, hang on, I think I’ve got something here – why don’t you make a comeback?!

I have now done a complete 180 on Brett Favre twice in my lifetime. I think I speak for a large portion of the population when I say I used to love the guy. He used to be one of my favorite quarterbacks for all the reasons John Madden has laid out time and time again. Now, I’m just sick of him. Can’t stand him.

But I’m serious about wanting him to make a second comeback. Last year, I wanted him to retire and stay retired. The comeback irritated me. But now that there’s talk of another possible comeback with the Vikings, my thinking is ’screw it.’ Let him come back and further tarnish his reputation. I hope he comes back, sets some sort of turnover record through four or five games while leading Minnesota to a sub-.500 record, gets benched for the remainder of the year, and laughed at. Maybe he could demand a trade too.

Some people have lost respect for Favre because of his retirement/unretirement/retirement/unretirement? I lost it a long time ago when he pulled this stunt with the Packers every offseason, always holding them hostage. They finally drafted their future starter in Aaron Rodgers with no clue of if or when he might ever play.

You know what else makes me laugh? This idea that soon-to-be-40-year-old Brett Favre is the guy that is going to put some team like the Vikings over the top. Ridiculous. These teams must be picturing a Favre who’s in his prime. Did they not see him play with the Jets last year? He was decent, I guess. Pretty good for his age, I guess.

But 22 touchdowns to 22 interceptions, and leading a team that choked late in the year to finish 9-7 and out of the playoffs doesn’t get me pumped up. Jason Campbell, Shaun Hill, Seneca Wallace, Trent Edwards, Matt Ryan, Chad Pennington (who Favre replaced in NY), Aaron Rodgers (who replaced Brett in GB) and Tarvaris Jackson (yes, Vikings) had better quarterback ratings than Favre (81.0).

Brett Favre isn’t the Vikings’ answer. He’s not putting any team over the top and into championship contention. But I hope they think he is. Maybe it’ll take a truly god-awful embarrassing season to show him he shouldn’t be playing anymore. I’ll gladly watch that. I’m rooting for it.

Raising Barry Zito from the dead

By
Zuri
Published: May 6, 2009Tags: ,


Barry Zito is an enigma. He knows this. You know this.

He’s coming so far from the bottom, he can’t even see the top. This season has been a delightful surprise for one of the San Francisco Giants’ most poignant punchlines because of his demurred star quality in black and orange. With his last three starts worthy of making any pitching coach’s mouth water, the enigma has extended a leaf of hope to what he may offer this season for the Giants and for this ever-critical fan.

Zito’s got quirks. If you’re following him on Twitter, you know he’s a hoot. And apparently he’s got his swagger back. He’s allowed three runs in his last three starts, given up 13 hits, walked four and struck out 11. All of these games have been no-decisions for the Giants’ No. 4 pitcher, making his 0-2 record not representative of his body of work which has bordered on beautiful.

(Somebody, start knocking on wood.)

This coming from the man who showed up in spring training three years ago with a changed delivery.

“Uh, coach, I think I’m going to try something new.”

“But you’re a Cy Young winner,” says pitching coach Dave Righetti. “Why would you want to change anything?”

“Yeah, I’m getting bored with success. I’m going to try losing for a while and see how it feels.”

I swore I wouldn’t even mention Zito at the beginning of this season, or at least overindulge in my critiques of him because there is still a sensitivity to the $18 million failure characterized as “last season.” He’s a sore spot in an otherwise bright rotation that has been consistently — up until two weeks ago — a source of my absolute hatred. So much so, that criticism of this wayward pitcher has depleted all flavor in the tongue lashings he has respectfully deserved.

Can we say, no more?

His two-hit outing this weekend against the Rockies brought me absolute joy. It was reminiscent of a different Zito. A Zito that was almost feared on the mound at Network Coliseum.

As a Giants fan, I haven’t seen much of that Zito. That Zito was thought to be long dead. Or at least buried deep within the mind of this zombie that Twitter’s quotes from Helene Lerner Robbins like, “The evils of the world that confront me are a reflection of my own internal state, and no one can protect me from my own mind.”

Coming deep from within that abyss of his mind has been the pitcher the Giants paid $126 million. He’s summoned the talent that we all expected of him and were excited for in these last three starts. The results haven’t been anything less than inspiring.

But I have to tread carefully here. I don’t want Zito to get comfortable. He still hasn’t recorded a win. We’re just getting a glimpse of Zito recapturing his form. The end product is still undetermined. For God’s sake, he’s Barry Zito. He’s disappointed us before. What says he won’t do so again?

Zito is getting my hopes up. And for the first time in two years, I am earnestly waiting for him to turn it around — on his time. He’s got a long way to go before memories of seasons past are forgotten. But his last three outings are a start to some healthy amnesia.

I’ll take the amnesia any day.

Editor’s note: This column originally appeared in The Union.

Bill Simmons opines on Twitter, Kobe, blogging and dying journalism

By
Zuri
Published: May 5, 2009Tags: , , ,

Bill Simmons, one of my favorite writers, has always been hesitant to give bloggers credit where credit is due. Although he did go to bat for the genre against ESPN colleague Rick Reilly in a podcast. In his latest magazine piece online today, he breaks down his thoughts on why athletes are cutting out the middle men and women — journalists. Mainly do to blogging and the evolution of Twitter, he envisions a world with more fluff pieces like the new Kobe Bryant documentary.

Here’s a sample:

You get the idea. We learn nothing from today’s superstars beyond the spin. Take Spike Lee’s upcoming Kobe Doin’ Work, which could be headed for an Oscar next year — not for best documentary but for best actor. Blanketed by 30 cameras covering his every move during a 2008 game, Kobe tries to be funny, supportive, helpful, charming … really, there hasn’t been a performance so convincing since There Will Be Blood. I nearly impaled myself with a Twizzler near the end, when Kobe jokes on the bench with Pau Gasol (who has an “I didn’t even know Kobe knew my name!” look on his face), followed by Spike’s cutting to Kobe’s kids holding MVP signs. I had to take a postmovie shower.

Check the the column out for yourself here.

And for shits and giggles, check out the trailer for Kobe Doin’ Work below.

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